A message to mothers

It aint about you though mom and yes I said "aint." Your daughter is not you. Yes, what you went through growing up led us to where we are, but times are different now. She is different and we can be better because of the pain you endured.  So, when your daughter comes to you and says I have a problem, think twice before speaking and don't say, are you doing this because of me, are you in trouble and in pain because of me all I done for you, do you know what I went through growing up I worked while my mom didn’t know I existed, I had it hard or maybe not that dramatic, but you get the picture. Its the "me" syndrome. Lets not make her issue about us and lose the moment of open dialogue or just you listening and her sharing for once make it about her and not get so upset because this moment could be an interruption in your perfect world or could it be a mistake or bad choice and you think  how could she. Well I tell you mom it aint about you. She is your daughter and not you. Yes you were young once and this is your alma mater and you want her to attend. You wore those fashions that are back in style now and she should, but allow her to experience life and be a direct expression of her individual person; yes with your DNA and her fingerprint; indeed its a match, yet not the same. Teach, lead by example, and love, by allowing her to show you she was listening all of those years that you taught her.

When you place the focus solely on yourself you give your daughter the extra pressure of living up to your expectation and thinking what would mom do instead of what do I do and form her own decision by what you have taught her. Allow your daughter to be who she is and form her own identity and validate that. Many of us as as women are still doing clean up from damage done to us or by us way back when, because of the struggle with the illusion of not being perfect, perceptions of not being enough, and the expectations to be all things to everybody. We can just let go by acknowledging where we are and declaring that there are no perfect people yet we mature to be better humans.  We can declare "I am enough" by learning to see what we can do and grow in that instead of focusing on barriers and limitations. We can declare that "I will" revisit my expectation of myself and that of others by raising my standard of living and knowing that I have the power to say no and the responsibility to make better choices and live my best life for myself. You see to become a better version of ourselves is not to slight anyone but in fact it sends a message that mothers rock, because of the seed mom placed in us through life. Mothers realize that after a seed breaks through the ground it goes through all of the elements on its own even though there are other plants and living organisms all around until the beautiful plant, tree or flower blooms there is an individual process of growth. Truth is I'm a daughter and a mother to a beautiful daughter and somethings that she's said to me comes to mind such as mom I don't like that I like this, mom I did finish it as you said but I did it this way and no one was hurt, and mom let me do it.  A message to mothers from the heart of a daughter today is "let me grow'  You cannot change yesterday, but you can make it a better day by accepting responsibility for your life today. Be intentional about helping yourself so that you may allow your daughters to live their best life. Believe her life will be better than your worst and best days because she has her purpose, heart and your tools for living that you gave. Now watch her grow.

The Dash

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I had an aha moment when viewing a video by author Farrah Gray about the two most important dates in a persons life birth and when we find out why were born. What are you put here to do?  I thought about a headstone and a grave marker with the date of birth, date of death, and most importantly the dash between the two dates. When we learn why we were born then and only then is death not vanity, its purpose.

I always wondered about the story of King Solomon who had everything said, "all is vanity" or meaningless. He had to have been speaking of those of us who work hard all our days and store up with no purposeful living.  This is sad to go to the grave with purpose, dreams not pursued, books not published, and work left undone; this is vanity and the dash meaningless. We have to finish what we started and what were called to do in life.

I remember reading an article recently that talked about people in hospice care and their main concern before transition being regretting not taking the time to do the things they were passionate about more and using time more wisely, because its precious.

My encouragement on today is to start now with what you have where you are and embrace the fire filled thing that burns within you no matter how old you are if it makes you smile chances are it will bring hope and joy to the world around you.  Know that it's not too late as long as you have breath, just start where you are and live your best life on purpose from here on out.

Faith, the unseen thing

Faith is the real thing. Faith becomes tangible when you believe.  Faith defies senses and you can see it,  hear it, and taste it, before what you're actually hoping for manifests. Have you ever wanted something so bad that you almost could taste it? You have to go from just hoping you get something or becoming the person you desire to believing it and being it. No matter what you are believing for God will meet you at the point of your need. Don't give up give in to a power source greater than yourself.  By exercising your faith you strengthen your confidence. If you have issues financially continually being around those in poverty will not help you to see your way out you have to surround yourself with the picture of what you desire to become.  

See what you say by faith. Obtain a vision of the job, the building you need for business, healing and wholeness,  renewed marriage. Use your imagination as more than just fantasy or fantasizing, but to picture what you are hoping for as though you already have it.  

Let it rip

We don't have to ask for bigger faith. If we just exercise the faith we have.  I constantly hear prayers of increase my faith in my organizations of affiliation. When a body builder works out during weight training, weight is increased on the bar to build muscle mass and increase endurance, but not until the first reps are mastered. The problem is not a lack of faith at all. If you can only believe all things are possible. Secondly if you dont put in the work to achieve your desired goal you wont obtain the desired results. So, not only do you need faith, but you have to put feet to faith or meaning exercise your faith, your belief.

Open Door



Sometimes doors close for redirection! Sometimes you just got to take another route. All roads may not lead to where YOU need to be. Take it like a champ turn around, take the exit, or wait its straight ahead. Pray, Prepare, and Wait until your change comes. Daniel prayed while he was in captivity; Esther prepared for the king, self sacrificing herself for her people, and Joseph waited for 2 years in prison for something he did not do. Oh but one day Joseph was promoted all because he did not become bitter and get distracted by how he got there.  Pharoah needed something, a dream interpreted and Joseph had the gift of interpretation; know one could interpret the dream, but Joseph.  Wait on God and the door will open for you.