The simple formula for loneliness not what you think



On Huffington Post I read one of the most touching stories about a concerned parent named Glenon Melton. Her son Chase assured mom that the confusing looking subject matter was Math that he was bringing home and to confirm that an email to the Math teacher went out. The teacher a former employee of NASA replied in the affirmative while also volunteering to tutor Chase anytime after school; no not him, mom replied me. Finding herself in 5th grade again and after school Glenon had one of the greatest revelations any parent can have.  It was'nt the fact that she spent an hour on one problem at the chalkboard, but it was what came next that struck her to encourage others. The teacher explained the importance of math in her classroom however something far greater helps her students. Each day she asks her students to pull out a piece of paper and write down 4 students name they think should sit out, and name one exceptional citizen for the week. After taking up the papers she looks for patterns of some of the following:

Who is not getting requested by anyone else?
Who doesn’t even know who to request?
Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated?
Who had a million friends last week and none this week?

She praises and encourages the star students, but she also looks for the lonely, the looked over and at risk children needing to be found, needing connection, whose bullied or bullying. You see none of us come here knowing it all even as adults were a work in progress.  So why do we oftentimes put so much expectation on our children to know how to speak up and to get the grade, but not take time to look closer or listen? I agree our children should not be measured solely on standardized tests or seen as numbers to meet the grade for our state. They're not just our future they are our legacy. What are we leaving? This story is a message of love and hope for the lonely. 

Dont you love this, I know I do, wow this gives me chills and many applause to this teacher, all teachers that not only teach subject matter content, but life skills and love, and mom Glenon who is challenging us to spread the word. Her January 30th 2014 post reads "Share This With All the Schools, Please." I accept the challenge wont you. I know you're still wondering about my picture that I shared with you. Well, just as Glenon's expression I make a choice to pay it forward. It only takes one person to make change and to show love in the world around them and to bring a smile, be a voice to a child that's been told not to tell, to even stop a suicide attempt only one. One person can reach one and the challenge continues. Dont think you cant make a difference you just did by reading this post. I think were responsible for what we know. Show love its just that simple it's not the hard math that you think.

Do you have any stories to share

We each have stories that we can share with someone else that may be going through something that they may depict as some sort of hell and you have made it through or overcome that same thing. Today's encouragement is for those that share their stories when deemed necessary and may be reluctant and those that need to desperately hear a word of hope. Lets share our stories of heaven divinely intervening for us over the years. Many of us have been healed from what those in cancer rooms wait for or have moved on to gainful employment after receiving termination or layoff notices. There is hope and you just may be it.

Walk with me...

How can two walk together except they agree? First there is a decision to go on the journey with the company or companion. Secondly, its not all about the destination, but about the journey. You actually take the time to make the most of the company you keep by intimate communion. Communication goes two ways its the act of talking and listening. Often times we want to be heard, to get our point across, but do we actually listen? If were truly listening it will reflect in our actions, decisions, and behavior. Lastly, in order to have a productive experience focus is key. Distractions will surely come, however the question is do we allow them to keep us from the matter at hand? Sometimes when on the journey with someone we come to realize whats important and whats not, as well as the decision to let somethings go that keep us from that precious time shared by prioritizing. 

The thought of a journey with someone came to me on this morning when reading about Enoch in the bible. Enoch walked with God until he was not for God took him. Just the thought of he walked with God is a powerful statement. When you're walking with someone it means you are not alone. Let that sink in for a moment, in walking with God we are not alone. There are many scriptures recorded in which God promises his people that he will never leave and he pledges his undying love which shows his commitment to relationship, because relationship is important to God.

Who are you walking with? I encourage you to take inventory of your relationships. Develop, maintain, build, and cherish the time that you have with your companions including husbands, wives, children, siblings, friends, all walks of life, and most importantly with the Lord. Allow your relationships to exemplify the love of God. It's not easy, however it's necessary and well worth the work. It is possible to walk with God and maintain wholesome and healthy relationships, because knowing and acknowledging that the relationship within is an extension from God is the key to maintaining.  Go with God in 2014!

Lord give me a sign...



When you are not sure about where you are trust that God knows all things, call on him in the day of obscurity and he will direct your paths. Have you ever been driving along and suddenly realize you may be going in the wrong direction?

Well my friend called me the other day on her way to an interview and after we had been on the telephone for about 15 minutes she said Oh I think I may have missed my exit, this does not look familiar. While getting her bearing and continuing on slower than before she checked for direction and said here is the exit coming up, I'm going right. It's ok to check for directions and to ask somebody for help when you are unsure. Its best to make sure than to get up ahead 2, 5, 10 miles and realize you could've saved time by turning around way back there.

Oftentimes circumstances can cause you to question where your friends are because you feel alone especially where God is and am I on the right track, because the surroundings dont look familiar or things feel off. We should slow down and check our position through meditation and keeping the lines of communication open with with those that  have shown to give wise counsel and who can help guide us back. Just because things dont always look familiar it does'nt mean you're going the wrong way. Many may be questioning now because you've been looking for a job and no word back or just I'm sorry you were'nt selected. You may be trying to sell property to move on to the next chapter and the contracts have been falling through. You could be a single mom or dad and waiting on someone special to come into your life for companionship or because you think you cant raise your children alone, and children reach age 5, 6, 10, 15, 18 and you did it with the help of a community around you. You may even feel now I have a teen on your hands and still no companion, no husband.   Look at it this way, wow you're doing it when you thought you could'nt go it alone in your singleness. Look at whose there instead of what you dont have as of yet and focus on  the beautiful gift of today. Before you know it those things that you have been looking for, those things that you need, and those things that you want will find you, because you are in the path and position to receive them.

Seasons change





Spring is the season after winter and before summer. We've had a long cold harsh winter, freezing temps and icy roadways, but spring is on the horizon.

The season is changing and spring is in the air.  The giver of life has not failed us and he still allows the sun to shine. Take courage and hope in God. You will spring forward on Sunday March 9th by moving your clock forward an hour before going to bed. Spring forward from your long winter season remembering that sometimes things have to die before new life can bloom

Best supporting actress is...

When I heard the speech of Oscar winner lupita nyong'o for 12 Years a Slave at the 7th Annual Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon  my heart leaped, because I've heard it before, but as I watched again I listened. Go on now I say, so that other black girls can see it before they see it, meaning see themselves achieve limitless heights in their hearts before they see it manifest in mainstream sources. 

My daughter is a dark skinned girl and oftentimes I've been asked, "mommie how do I bleach my skin, why am I so black, and the kids pick on me." I always sway the conversation to black beauty while working tirelessly to build her self esteem through healthy activities that reflect her gifts and make her proud to be the who that she is skin deep. 

The media has shown a depiction of what beauty should be from the long hair, to the slender build and the very fair skinned hues well it's a new day black, browns, and yellows arent shadows that lay waste they fill our skies and embrace our skin bringing color to our world again and again just as white is not the sum but apart of the colorful whole.

Lupita said she wrote her speech without practice, which was not hard to believe, because anything from the heart dont need practice, but preparation and that she was prepared. 

Her first words were "I want to take this opportunity to talk about beauty. Black beauty. Dark beauty." This line had me sold to continue to listen as she went on to take the time to address a young girls letter that shared issues of dark skin and how she was on the verge of bleaching her dark tones for a lighter result. 

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She expressed her story of growing up with similar challenges of self acceptance and loathing until hearing the affirmations of Oprah and seeing the example of Alek Wek until her mothers continual ringing that beauty is not a sustaining source nor can we attain it as a marker of success we have to just be the beauty that we are and embrace that. Now the irony is her voice extends beyond the states for young girls to see.  

You cannot just see beauty as exterior adornments but as things that  we each feel when we reach out to those that may not be able to return the favor or give us anything but a thank you or a smile.

As an at home audience I went away with a message to share with my dark skinned daughter and with my soul that we can come out of the shade and walk in the glory of the sun, because there is nothing more beautiful than confidence in the skin you have no matter your race or hue. This is her story and legacy to all young girls of color and I salute her.

Let's Get it Done!

While listening to the Yolanda Adams Morning Show here in Atlanta on 102.5 FM this morning I got a sweet epiphany if you will, #Revelation. Minister Lonnie Hunter, radio host of WGCI AM in Chicago on the Lonnie Hunter Show and  Pastor of worship of Bethany Baptist in Lindenwold NJ was the special guest of the hour. He started a T-shirt line, which then grew into a sports clothing line called "Get it done." After encouraging the congregation to Get it done someone said I wouldnt mind having that on a t-shirt and the next chapter was born. Gross sales have far exceeded his margins from the many bulk purchases by something so simple as a revelatory phrase that encourages others to move. I thought about my bucket list of things that I have to get done and one being completing the establishment of my  business, as well as helping my daughter with her vision of entrepreneurship and etc., I know that countless others like us will follow as well.

What's holding you back from realizing that vision or that dream? Mantras have come and gone like Just start somewhere, Just do it, Starting is half the battle. Well in this hour the word at hand is completing the matter before you or first things first or Lets Get it Done! When we get whatever our it is done then the more will follow. Increase will come and it is inevitable, because of the law of sowing and reaping. whatever we put out into the universe it will come back.  A man reaps what he sows. There is a natural consequence from our actions, which is relative to the law of cause and effect.